Emotions, progress & a chance encounter w Harriet Tubman

Hi everyone! Writing an update has been long overdue, I realize, and this will be a long one.

The Great Barrington Project is all about connecting to our truths, the ways we see each other and the ways we see ourselves. Sometimes those truths are uncomfortable, but to change them we must first acknowledge them. So I think it's important for me to share my own truth with you.

I didn't expect that working on this would have the emotional toll that it did. I was researching the history and stories of American Black enslavement and it was affecting me on a deep level. I was looking at photos of lynchings and enslaved people being sold and those images stayed with me even when I was sleeping. I was very angry a lot and very sad a lot. That is my truth.

I was also struggling with the idea that I might be capitalizing on Black trauma. Did I cross the line from truth to pandering? Was I too angry or not angry enough with this? And was guilty of being overly concerned with how I was seen by others, instead of how I see myself - double- consciousness in action?

Many know how important mindfulness meditation is in my life. I often go to silent meditation retreats, many of them BIPOC retreats. Several years ago, one of the retreats happened right after white supremacist Dylann Roof shot and killed 9 Black people. There was something especially hard about that - it happened in the church - a sanctuary for so many Black people, and they invited him in to worship with them.

Many of the people at the retreat were struggling with intense emotions about the murders and we had no way to escape from them, but instead had to sit with them. Over that week, I looked at anger and grief from many perspectives and felt it in all parts of my body. Doing that helped me find acceptance in having the emotions, though not the circumstances behind them. And that's what I've been doing over the last couple months - exploring these emotions that are being brought up and having compassion for them existing.

The artist Dread Scott, one of my biggest inspirations for The GB Project, and for being an artist agreed to talk with me about some of these things. He helped me with connecting to my true voice and true intentions in creating The GB Project and encourage me to stay true to my intentions, knowing everyone will not agree with me. I also saw the play Tambo and Bones which is about a Black artist struggling with feeling like he's a modern minstrel player by using racial trauma in his creative work. It was uncomfortable to watch the characters grapple with the fine balance involved in this. Dread Scott and the play helped me center myself in knowing these will be ongoing questions and maybe ( probably ) there will never be a simple answer.

All of this is to say, The GB Project is most definitely still on! The first event will take place the week of May 16th in Great Barrington ( of course). I'm excited that Gwendolyn Van Sant is helping to organize the community discussion on May 21. Gwendolyn is the CEO and co-founding director of Multicultural Bridge , a grassroots organization dedicated to advancing equity and justice. She is also a trainer/facilitator in diversity leadership. Also participating with be former vice-president of the Berkshires NAACP, Luci Leonard, a strong voice in the community. I will announce other participants when they're confirmed.

On St Patrick’s day I was wearing green ( as we do ) and hanging out with my friend in Harlem. Leaving a coffee shop, I saw a greenish statue & wanted a photo in front of it. Only up close did I realize it’s a statue of Harriet Tubman created by Alison Saar.. She is depicted going forward despite roots pulling at her skirt, representing the roots of slavery. Her skirt is decorated with images and symbols of the enslaved people she helped escape. It’s a powerful statue and it was a powerful moment, taking it all in. It helped remind me to keep going forward, and not be held back by roots that want to keep me ( us ) in place. Slavery is the next thing to Hell- Harriet Tubman